"Many man were raised (and continue to be raised) to function in a world that no longer exists. To be good men, they were told, they must become reliable providers, emotionally stoic, logical, solution oriented, and aggressive."
(R. Levant )
Pacific Institute Europe has organized an evening devoted to men and their feelings. We had an open discussion inspired by fragments of the film "Men and Emotion".
The film presents psychoeducational approach developed by Ronald F.Levant to what he calls "Normative Male Alexithymia". The word comes from Greek and means "without", "word" and "emotion", and refers to difficulty in naming or even being aware of certain emotions. Levant states that according to his clinical observation this type of problem is so common for men in our culture that it may be called "normative".
The main source of the problem is the socialization process: boys are taught to repress their vulnerable and caring emotions, while showing their power through domination over others. Thus, anger or aggression are in some ways acceptable, but fear, tenderness, affection should not be shown. However in modern world men are expected to be able to show and recognize these kind of emotion in their intimate relationship.
The approach proposed by Levant consists of four steps that help to learn about the world of emotion.
1. Developing Emotional Vocabulary
2. Learning to read emotion in other people
3. Learning to read emotion in oneself
4. Practice
At our meeting we have started the discussion about men and emotion. Some of the voices were following:
- Men need to be acknowledged for their trials to notice and express vulnerable emotion
- Women need to remember that when a men says he does not know what he feels it is a genuine answer and not an attempt to hurt or create distance
- Men need more time to find out about their feelings
- Women need to be able to be in touch in their power to be able to open up both to male tenderness and strength
The discussion has just begun. We would like to continue our discussion and find out what is needed around emotion for both genders in this new Millennium.
If you are interested in R.Levant and video "Men and Emotion" check the website
www.psychotherapy.net
